Recently, Bill C-4 has made headlines in Canada and around the world, being called one of the most comprehensive pieces of legislation against “conversion therapy” in the world. There are elements of the bill that could be supported by a faithful Christian. Certainly, the practice of forcefully converting someone to a different sexual orientation should be condemned. I think even the idea that changing sexual orientation should be the goal for Christians is misguided. However, this now-passed bill goes much further than that. Among other things, the bill defines conversion therapy as “repress(ing) or reduc(ing) non-heterosexual attraction or sexual behaviour” (emphasis mine) and “repress(ing) a person’s non-cisgender gender identity”. As far as I can tell, that makes offering biblical counsel about gender and sexuality a criminal offence. For a counsellor (the bill addresses any “practice, treatment or service”) to quote Galatians 5:16, where Paul instructs readers not to “gratify the desires of the flesh”, or Hebrews 12:16, “See that no one is sexually immoral” could potentially land them in prison.
In a context like that, a book like Becket Cook’s “A Change of Affection” (2019, Thomas Nelson) is a dangerous and subversive piece of literature. Not to mention so good and so necessary. People need to hear stories like his.
Becket Cook was living the life as a set designer in LA, partying with the rich and famous (yes, some names get dropped). He was a gay man completely at home in the bastion of progressive, liberal culture. That is, until the day he and a friend encountered a Bible study at a favourite coffee shop (something they had never witnessed before!). An invitation to church followed, which much to Cook’s dismay, he found himself accepting. That church visit led to an encounter with the Gospel, a filling of the Holy Spirit, and a new life now lived entirely for the glory of God in Christ. For Cook, there was little doubt about it. He was now a new creation, and life with Christ required laying down what was once so dear to him, including following through on a sexual attraction to men. As he tells it, the glory and goodness of Jesus made this a no-brainer!
The first half of “A Change of Affection” is Cook’s testimony, beginning with his conversion experience and proceeding with the life-long lead-up to that event. The second half is a collection of chapters dealing with some questions about Christianity and homosexuality. For example, there’s a chapter devoted to “FAQs” like “didn’t God create you that way?” or “doesn’t God want you to be happy?”. There’s another giving counsel to Christian parents whose children have “come out” and how to love them well.
The Big Idea
Add this to a growing list of narratives by same-sex attracted Christians who are living faithfully according to the Scriptures (Christopher Yuan, Jackie Hill Perry, Wesley Hill, Rosaria Butterfield, Rebecca McLaughlin, and Sam Alberry, to name a few). None of these are “ex-gay” testimonies in the terms of a previous generation, because all of them, including Cook, confess to experiencing ongoing same-sex attraction. Some have married someone of the opposite sex (interestingly, all the women in that list) while others have remained celibate (all the men in that list). But all of them have no doubt about God’s will for them and testify to the goodness of being faithful to God’s commands regarding sexual morality. Like many of them, Becket Cook is especially concerned that believers not compromise their convictions out of a misguided desire to love. We are, of course, to love people who identify as gay or lesbian or transgender. But those like Cook who have come to a saving knowledge of Jesus urge us that love does not equal affirming every decision and impulse.
Cook also devotes a chapter to exploring the Daniel 3 story and the cost of not bowing down to the same idols as the rest of our culture. It could get you thrown into the furnace! The furnace, of course, is a place where God’s presence is experienced especially powerfully! In the book, Cook expresses surprise that when he “came out” as a born-again Christian, many of his liberal Hollywood elite friends were ok with it. They were willing to listen to him talk about Jesus. However, in an episode on “The Becket Cook” show, Cook says that the release of this book (in 2019) put an end to that. He was dropped as a set designer and cut off from many of his friendships because of how publicly he had “outed” himself. Even here, he rejoices for the goodness of God he has experienced in the wake of rejection!
#1 Strength
The focus here is all on Jesus. Cook’s testimony points to Him and glories in Him. In the foreword, Francis Chan says that when he heard Becket Cook share his testimony, he was astounded at how Jesus-centric everything he said and did was. Chan said that “he carried himself like a man who had just won the lottery; like someone who was unfazed by the parking ticket he received, because he discovered his newfound fortune and was amazed at the treasure he had been given. Everything else seemed trivial to him, even his sexuality.” You get that sense as you read the book, and it prompts a deeply convicting question: do I know Jesus in the same way? Is Jesus that big of a deal to me?
#1 Weakness
If you are looking to dig deep into the reasons why a Christian should not affirm same-sex romantic relationships, this won’t be your go-to resource (Kevin DeYoung’s short book, “What Does the Bible Really Teach About Homosexuality?” is a good starting point for that). The emphasis here is very much on his testimony. That is not to say that Cook doesn’t engage with or isn’t faithful to the Bible. In the second half of the book, for example, a number of chapters are sermon-style reflections on Scripture texts. However, he does not go to the “standard” texts on sexuality (eg. Romans 1), but rather texts like Daniel 3 or Genesis 25 (with Esau selling his birthright for a single meal as an analogy for indulging sexual immorality). This is great content, but again, for those who have questions about what the Bible says about homosexuality and want a substantial account of that, you’ll need to look elsewhere.
One Standout Quote
“Put plainly, I accepted that it (homosexual behaviour) was a sin. Surprisingly, I was perfectly fine with this realization. The complete reversal of my opinions and pursuits in this are worked like this: I had just met the King of the universe! The last thing on my mind was men. To say that every other relationship paled in comparison with my new relationship with Christ would be a massive understatement. How could I hold on to anything that didn’t bring me closer to Him? My relationship with Christ was the real deal. I knew in my bones that it was what I had been longing for my whole life. It was what I was made for!” (pg. 23)
The Wrap-Up
Accessible (can almost anyone pick it up and understand it?): 10 / 10
Engaging (will people enjoy reading it?): 9 / 10
Beneficial (will people benefit from reading it?): 8 / 10
Fresh (does it cover new ground or provide new insights on familiar topics?): 4 / 10
Faithful (is it consistent with the Scriptures?): 10 / 10
Best readers: those who haven’t yet heard testimonies of Christians living faithfully to God’s instructions in the midst of same-sex attraction
