I’ve always felt a bit out of place. I spent a couple of years in Guatemala as a teenager, a Canadian kid in Central America. I was “el gringo”, loved and accepted but always different. Later, in a large high school in Calgary, I was one of the only Christian kids I knew. Not that this is the litmus test of Christian faith, but I remember thinking that I had heard more profanities in my first day of high school than in my life combined up to that point. Throughout my time on the prairies, my friends played hockey and listened to country music. I was a basketball player who listened to rap. But very recently, I felt out of place for another reason. I’ve read a couple of articles that say that my generation generally has no love for Tim Horton’s. Apparently, we think the coffee is bad and prefer to spend more money at more exquisite places. Here’s the thing: I’ll choose Tim Horton’s over any of those places, hands down. And it’s because of one thing, one thing alone: the French Vanilla.
I have no idea what that drink is. Is it coffee? Is it some kind of powder? Is it a latte? Is it related to an americano? What is an americano? A simple Google search would sort this out, but here’s the point: I have no idea what the Tim Horton’s French Vanilla is, but it is my absolute favorite drink in any coffee shop I know of.
And here’s another thing: the reason it’s my favorite is not because of the taste. At least, not in the sense that I think the taste is qualitatively superior to other drinks. It’s because of this. When I drink a French Vanilla, it instantly brings back a set of memories from a time in my life that was filled with joy, community, and spiritual growth. It tastes like Steinbach Bible College. When I was 18-20 years old, I did my bachelor’s degree there. I was learning about the Bible in class, coming alive in my relationship with God through times of worship. I lived in a dormitory with 25 other guys and experienced a quality of community, of spiritual friendship, that has since proven unparalleled. And when it got late and we wanted to hang out, and the dorm wasn’t an option, there was always Tim Horton’s. In a place like Steinbach, that was the only place that was open at night. I spent so many evenings there, and almost always drank…you guessed it, the French Vanilla.
I thought of that again on a recent Saturday night. I always go for a prayer walk on Saturday nights, preparing for Sunday morning, and on that evening, I walked to Tim Horton’s. I bought my fabled drink, took a sip, and was instantly brought into a place of gratitude for what the Lord had done in my life in those years, and what He’s continued to do since.
You might have something like that too. Some reminder of the Lord’s goodness, some reminder of how He’s provided for you, delivered you, some reminder of a season that was full of joy and refreshment. In Revelation 2:1-7, Jesus speaks to the first century church of Ephesus. Jesus says that they had lost their first love. He says that they needed to remember the heights from which they had fallen, repent, and do the things they did at first. The first thing Jesus tells them to do in this serious case of spiritual slippage is to engage in spiritual remembrance. To remember what the Lord has done. Remember what it was like to be near His presence. Remember what it was like to hunger and thirst for Him. Of course, if you’ve never had that before, than Jesus’ admonition would be a bit different! He’s knocking on the door of your life and wants to come in and be present (Revelation 3:20). But for those who have experienced His presence in the past and have since grown cold, He calls you to remember and do the things you did at first.
That doesn’t mean, by the way, that you need to retrace your exact steps (in my case, returning as a student to Steinbach Bible College is likely out of the question!). But drinking that French Vanilla reminds me of a time when my love for Him was, for example, untainted by desires for worldly success. It reminds me of being in community with like-minded disciples. And it gives me a desire to pursue those same things once again.
What does it look like for you to return to “first love”- the love of God for you and your love for Him? Are there certain things that can remind you what that was like, and to create in you a desire for it once again?
